Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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