1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
