I like to think it a success when the cops are called
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
