So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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