i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
