That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
