I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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