Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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