Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
A+ Viking dick
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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