chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
