At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Boobs are out for the taking
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
