omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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