It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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