Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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