When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize