I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just gift wrapped bread.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
