I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Welp...herpes.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
