Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize