Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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