My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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