So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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