In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
