You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
