so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
