i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
