Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
