Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
