honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He kissed a someone with a penis
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
