Yo dont text me then not text me
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
