I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
