Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
