I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
