in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
