so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
