do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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