It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i dont even know how to be here
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
