Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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