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they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
