sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
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