I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
