i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
