Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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