Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
