i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We had to coat check the pizza.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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