So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize