my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
