But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
