ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
