Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Well I just put wine in my tea
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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