look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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