I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
