So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize