i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
