so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
