Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick

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(650): i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick http://tfl.nu/pgxx

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??

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(603): he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward?? http://tfl.nu/1124

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings

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(603): A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings http://tfl.nu/n8bz

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(631): View more from New York

My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.

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(631): My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you. http://tfl.nu/4nkq

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(650): View more from California

I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it

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(650): I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it http://tfl.nu/nnzm

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(850): View more from Florida

tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.

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(850): tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff. http://tfl.nu/0w18

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.

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(605): Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy. http://tfl.nu/ugyo

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.

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(412): I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not. http://tfl.nu/jtsf

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(708): View more from Illinois

this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick

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(708): this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick http://tfl.nu/q9ek

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(980): View more from North Carolina

I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?

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(980): I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap? http://tfl.nu/ykcv

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(219): View more from Indiana

I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.

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(219): I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night. http://tfl.nu/4hgv

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(541): View more from Oregon

So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.

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(541): So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come. http://tfl.nu/7g6u

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.

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(202): To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned. http://tfl.nu/z20l

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...

(860): View more from Connecticut

the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you

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(203): I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop... (860): the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you http://tfl.nu/0s0c

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(970): View more from Colorado

my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,

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(970): my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off, http://tfl.nu/5tu5

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