she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
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downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
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i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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