do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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