Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Honestly.

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Don't say a word.

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  (313) So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays! (1-313) I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol????? (313) Honestly. (313) Don't say a word. http://tfl.nu/wjb7
  Replies (7) Good night (1124) Bad night (503)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was

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  (410): Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was http://tfl.nu/b47l
  Replies (14) Good night (642) Bad night (1369)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around

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  (419): There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around http://tfl.nu/vprs
  Replies (41) Good night (786) Bad night (3387)
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  (818): View more from California

  That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!

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  (818): That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister! http://tfl.nu/bmda
  Replies (20) Good night (6953) Bad night (621)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously

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  (440): he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously http://tfl.nu/mrdz
  Replies (13) Good night (4345) Bad night (688)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.

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  (908): a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester. http://tfl.nu/e11n
  Replies (52) Good night (4056) Bad night (587)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.

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  (321): they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them. http://tfl.nu/ag5t
  Replies (23) Good night (4199) Bad night (874)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck

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  (503): The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck http://tfl.nu/nvzw
  Replies (20) Good night (6329) Bad night (1437)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?

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  (269): He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated? http://tfl.nu/6x14
  Replies (16) Good night (910) Bad night (3709)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.

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  (425): so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork. http://tfl.nu/y2vt
  Replies (0) Good night (1581) Bad night (612)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.

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  (513): He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet. http://tfl.nu/9hfz
  Replies (3) Good night (571) Bad night (731)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.

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  (623): He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix. http://tfl.nu/za16
  Replies (3) Good night (869) Bad night (390)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.

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  (816): He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger. http://tfl.nu/btv5
  Replies (2) Good night (275) Bad night (675)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month

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  (773): In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month http://tfl.nu/vo21
  Replies (6) Good night (1361) Bad night (248)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.

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  (845): I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops. http://tfl.nu/fks7
  Replies (2) Good night (516) Bad night (198)

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