I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
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you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
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My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that