she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize