I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
