No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
