Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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